Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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