Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
