Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
