he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
