i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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