Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
