put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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