jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
