You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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