I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
