If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
