It's Friday. Sex?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
