she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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