What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
