Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
