Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
BRING THE BAGELS
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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