Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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