I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
