It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
