Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So many bounce houses so little time
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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