Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
