But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
