im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
