Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need to calm my uterus...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
