he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Randomize
