I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
