Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
