don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
