I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
