I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
