I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
