Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
