He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
