Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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