this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
