And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize