There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize