I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize