"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
