I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
