He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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