Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
