You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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