I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
