you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
