I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
