I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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