I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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