I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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