Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
