Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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