It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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