If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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