Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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