I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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