You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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