Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
