i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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