I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
