you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
