The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
