I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
