are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
