I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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