hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
