so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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