I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
