Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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