I wanna bring you to show and tell
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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