I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
