For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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