the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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