I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
its liver damage thursday
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
