You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
